Whether or not you’re on social media, I’m sure you’ve felt pressure from others or yourself of all the activities you “should be” doing while the nation goes through this quarantine. You may feel pushed into several directions. “Should be” starting a side hustle. “Should be” learning a new language. “Should be” branding yourself. “Should be” learning an instrument. “Should be” discovering your purpose…the list goes on and on. Well, I’m here to tell you that you “should be” doing one thing: give yourself the space and grace to bloom in your own season.
Accept Where You Are Now
This blog article is inspired by an article I wrote for Medium. Here is a quotation from that article:
“Let me start off by saying that there are no “should be’s” in quarantine life. In fact, there are no “should be’s” in non-quarantine life. Where we are right now is where we’re meant to be. And what we’re doing right now is what we’re meant to be doing. However we’re processing the current situation is how we’re meant to process it.”
It is true that each person who gives you any “should be” suggestions, are doing it because they want the best for you. The ambition these people have is admirable for sure.
Even though the sentiment behind all of these suggestions is well meant, they are all made without any regard to two vital elements: the consideration of your circumstances and your current state of evolution.
Enjoy Your Individual Journey
Let me set the record straight because I want to relieve some of the pressure you might be feeling to do more than you are right now.
My approach blends psychology theory (which I’ll share with you later on) and a universal truth that spirituality is an individual journey. This mindset that spirituality is an individual journey doesn’t happen overnight, so contact me if you’d like more information.
Using my unique approach, you can make significant progress towards accepting where you are right now (without judgement) and not feel the constant need to do more or be more than you are currently.
It is important that you fully honor and embrace where you are, as each season of evolution serves as a stepping stone to the next.
As much as you many want to, there is no way that you can accelerate your process of progression.
Give Yourself the Space to Grow
Considering the world’s circumstances with the current pandemic, it’s understandable that you focus only on the basic needs of life. Get through the day. Battle addictions bubbling up to the surface. Make ends meet financially. Put food on the table.
Some unleash their life purpose, but you may be in a very different space, and that’s okay.
This important concept is illustrated in Chapter 2 of my book SOAR, which reads:
“Whatever decisions you make in your life, people may feel the need to weigh in and express their opinion. Don’t worry about what people may think. That’s irrelevant. What you decide to do with your life is your business and your business only. You don’t owe anyone any explanations for what you’re doing or why you’re doing it, and you don’t need to solicit input or validation or approval from anyone. Your life is not a democratic entity; you’re the decision-maker. What it comes down to is if it resonates with your soul, then it’s the right thing to do. Everything in your physical reality will fall into place the way it’s supposed to when you learn how to co-create your reality with the Universe.”
Remember, You don’t owe anyone any explanations for what you’re doing or why you’re doing it, and you don’t need to solicit input or validation or approval from anyone.
You must stay true to your individual journey, understand my important psychological theory and reinforce that with a spiritual interpretation. When you do that, then you will have a solid foundation of truly honoring where you are.
Now, remember that psychological theory I told you about? Well, I’m going to introduce it to you now. It’s the concept of Maslow’s hierarchy. I’m not going to get all psychology textbooky on you, don’t worry. Stay with me.
Maslow, a psychologist, theorized that all human needs fall on a spectrum, from the most basic to the most evolved. Depicted in a pyramid, the needs illustrate five different tiers, beginning at the base of the pyramid as follows:
-Physiological – the most basic human needs for human survival, such as food, water, shelter
-Safety and Security – financial stability, good health, safe environment
-Love and Belonging – family, friends, relationships, connection, community
-Esteem – recognition by others, status, feeling of accomplishment
-Self-Actualization – becoming the best version of yourself, discovering your purpose, adding value to the world
We all start at the bottom of the pyramid with our physiological needs. After we establish a good foundation in one area, then we progress to the next level.
Here is another excerpt from my article I wrote for Medium:
“Every level serves as a stepping stone for the next level, and we must graduate through each of the levels in a sequential order. There’s no express lane to the top of the pyramid. You have to go through all of the levels, one step at a time.
It is important to take note that humanity is currently undergoing a massive shake-up right now, as this pandemic is leaving many people feeling vulnerable across the entire spectrum – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.”
Embrace the Season That You’re In
Even though the nation is going through some version of the stay-at-home quarantine, you are in a different circumstance than your neighbor, friend, or family member.
The “should be’s” this newsletter opened with – the side hustles, the new languages, the branding, the learning an instrument, the changing the world – those are all endeavors that happen at the self-actualization tip of the pyramid. The highest, and smallest tier. And to put this into perspective, Maslow suggested that only two percent of people reach the self-actualization tier. A very small slice of the population.
There are people on this earth whose purpose is to change the world. We can always benefit from more thought leaders, visionaries, healers, spiritual warriors, and change makers.
If you don’t feel like you’re in that place, rest assured that you are in good company and that you’re where you’re meant to be. Meet yourself with self-acceptance and self-compassion and grace.
Embrace the place you’re in, and focus on what is right in front of you, right now.
When you view the world with spiritual lenses, you will quickly realize that there is never a need to compare your journey with anyone else’s. The sooner you ditch the comparison mindset and embody a growth-based mindset, the sooner you open yourself up to happiness, contentment, and fulfillment.
It doesn’t matter where you are in your journey or how ‘fast’ you’re going, what matters is that you’re progressing.
Grant the Necessary Space to Bloom
The best thing we can do for each other is to become a silent observer in others’ realities.
In my book SOAR. I discuss the individual nature of the spiritual journey and the importance of letting everyone progress on their journeys at their own pace:
“Everyone is on his or her own individual journey and awakens at different times, and at different speeds, depending on what situations and people are placed in their own personal reality. There’s really nothing that can be done to accelerate someone else’s evolution to bridge the gap between where they are and where you are. It needs to happen on its own time and in its own way. All forms of change and transformation need to come from within. Trying to force someone else’s transformation with some extrinsic factor is like trying to force a rose to bloom by prying the petals open. You’ll crush it.”
“We must sit back and let the flower bloom in it’s own time. Everything in nature happens according to its own schedule. Some flowers bloom in early-spring. Some bloom in mid-spring. Some bloom at various points in the summer. In much the same way that we sit back and observe nature, the best thing we can do for someone else’s journey is to become a silent observer in his or her reality.”
Give Yourself the Grace to Grow
Just as nature gives the space and the grace for flowers to bloom naturally, you must also grant that same space and grace for yourself and others to bloom.
During these challenging times, remember to give yourself the gifts of self-acceptance and self-compassion. Putting undue pressure on yourself to accomplish more than is realistic would be counterproductive.
You’re doing the best that you can right now, so take a moment to recognize your efforts and celebrate your small victories.