Are you ready for a new approach to dating to find love without using dating websites or apps? Therefore, then you’re going to love this!
As many of you know, I let the Universe guide me throughout my life, and it’s the same with dating. It’s unconventional to what many people choose to do, however, my avant-garde practices are really what makes all the difference. Everything I do is deeply rooted in spiritual principles. The Universe and I are co-creators of my reality. Soul-work is my lifestyle, and growth, open-mindedness, and trusting life’s process are my cornerstones. All of that said, I approach dating in the same way.
“I believe that the current way of finding love isn’t working. We’re living in a culture where people of all ages are spending their time swiping left and swiping right, sifting through the sea of eligible bachelors or bachelorettes, in the quest for love. In a way it’s kind of like the “slot machine” mentality…maybe the next one will be my lucky strike.”
If our society has such an impossible approach to dating, then I’ve got a solution for you.
My View On Dating
If you want a more in-depth understanding of my view about dating, I encourage you to buy my book, SOAR. I have several philosophies about the dating game. In short, I don’t tolerate bullshit. That may seem harsh, but I am worth more (and you are too) than unanswered texts and tentative plans to do “something.” I enjoy embracing an expectations-free spirit and want to have fun because life is too short to do it any other way.
In short, I don’t look for love, I let it find me. Get to a point where you are in love with yourself and your Mr. Right or Ms. Right will come along when you least expect it. Immerse yourself in your all-consuming love for your own life. It’s at that point that, as Van Halen says it, “Love comes walkin’ in.”
You need to let go of the habit of chasing, and move into the space of allowing and attracting. Don’t let fear control you, instead, surrender and trust the universe.
The approach I’m about to share with you will help you see dating in a more positive and adventurous way. If you follow my process, then you’ll be more likely to find “the one” that will stand the test of time.
I’m not talking about the aspect of love you’re thinking about nor am I talking about attachment. Not talking about companionship nor sexual attraction. Nothing about security nor talking about fantasy. It is not about filling a void.
Wanna know why?
All those things are too easy to find, making them easy to lose.
My book, SOAR, drives home even further what love is not. Here is a quotation from it:
“It’s really easy to find someone with whom you share common interests. It’s really easy to find companionship. It’s really easy to find someone who is unhappy and looking for another person to make them happy. It’s really easy to find someone to have sex with. It’s really easy to gravitate back to a past relationship and recycle old toxicities because they’re familiar, and a heck of a lot less work than starting from square one and getting to know someone new. All of these scenarios are just a swipe or a text or a social media search away. There’s no real “work” that needs to be done here.”
I’ve told you a lot about what love is not…
So what is love to me?
What I am talking about is unconditional, all-encompassing, soul-bonding, life-altering conscious love. The kind of love that you find after you’ve done your soul work and are whole and complete and ridiculously happy.
What I Believe About Love
I believe that you’ll find love after you’ve found yourself. After you’ve built a life you love and learned “happiness” on your own. To do this, pour your heart and soul into those things that “fill you up.”
Those activities or aspects of life that “fill you up,” can be anything, your: work, passions, hobbies…anything that brings you fulfillment. Do what sets your soul on fire! Finding love will happen when you least expect it and decide to stop looking, proving that the Universe has a sense of humor.
The Soul is the Pathway To Love
The only way that you can find true love, is through the soul. Regardless of your previous experience with dating, you need to ask yourself one important question.
Why are you looking for love?
“Many of the reasons we seek romantic relationships are fear-based or need-based, and we don’t even realize it. Some of it is societal conditioning.
These “unconscious” (and I say that with no judgement whatsoever) modes of finding love feed into a model that has an expiration date. It may work for a year, five years or even ten years. But unless you have done the work on yourself and are overflowing with love, peace, joy, passion, fulfillment on your , true love will always continue to elude you and you will be stuck in the same vicious cycle.”
To prevent yourself from being a captive by such a negative cycle, you must ask yourself introspective questions.
Asking deep questions is the foundation of your soul work.
Fall in Love with You
Even though it seems counterintuitive, you need to fall in love with yourself before you can find that special someone.
SOAR reinforces how important it is to love yourself first when it comes to dating. Here are a few of my favorite passages:
“Before you fall in love with someone else, you first need to fall in love with you and your life. Just as it is. Fall in love with the world around you. Fall in love with your hobbies. Find your passion and set it ablaze. Learn how to be happy on your own. Only then should you begin to entertain the idea of inviting someone into your life.”
“Work on yourself to the point where you’re a complete ice cream sundae: the vanilla ice cream, the hot fudge, the whipped cream and the cherry on top. The whole shebang. Then, when someone comes along and knocks your socks off, they’ll be the extra cherry on top…What you do not want to do is look for someone to complete your sundae.”
Fill up your life until it is overflowing. Overflowing with love, peace, joy, fulfillment, passion, to name a few.
“Fill your life up with all the things you love that don’t have to do with a romantic relationship. Learn to get comfortable with being single. Go out with friends. Go out by yourself. This is a golden opportunity to reinvent yourself. View it as the making of you…Spend time dreaming — big, reading and writing. Travel domestically. Travel internationally. Volunteer. Take a walk. Take a longer walk. Ponder your purpose.”
Focus on the Journey
After you’ve learned how to love yourself and the life you’ve created, then you can begin the journey to finding true love. A major pitfall many people fall into when it comes to finding love, is that they are too focused on the outcome or destination.
The key for success and happiness is to view this quest for love as a journey. Be sure to enjoy every step along the way.
Learn to have the mindset that this process is an adventure. Release your expectations. Embrace the lessons you learn along the way, and always have fun.
The experiences you have as you progress along the path to love are all stepping stones. In the spiritual world, there’s no such thing as a mistake or wasted time. Every relationship or human interaction you have gives you an opportunity to learn about yourself. Knowing yourself opens you up to more self-improvement.
Every relationship is a gift from the Universe.
Even the challenging relationships that end in a breakup or divorce teaches you what you do and don’t want.
Stay Aligned With Who You Are
In life, when you’re looking for something, it’s usually because you recognize the absence of it.
The same goes for relationships, especially from a spiritual standpoint. However, when you realize the absence and go to work on filling that void, it creates resistance.
It is more productive to become the best version of yourself. By doing so, you attract the type of person who is the best fit for you.
Here is a quotation from an article I published with Elephant Journal:
Seeking to fill a void “…prompts us to think about what we need to do and how we might need to fill the space, which pulls us out of alignment from who we really are. If you just show up all day, every day, in full alignment with your inner being, the Universe can’t help but match you up with what is best for you at the right time.”
If you are single and this time in your life a golden opportunity, fine tune your standards. Know your worth. Stand in your value. Stay aligned with who you are. Trust your inner voice. Speak your truth.
SOAR further elaborates on this concept:
“If you have to chase it, it’s not worth having. If you have to convince it to stay, it’s not worth having. If you have to continuously search far and wide, it’s not worth having. If you have to compromise who you are, it’s not worth having.”
The Universe is Your Matchmaker
You may have heard me joke that universe.com is the best dating site. It plays a role in the “matching game” every day.
“It is meticulously hand-picking experiences that reflect what you need at the time, either based on vibration or based on a lesson that you need to master. Sit back, relax, and let the Universe deliver what you need in every moment.”
Your journey to love is an experience rich in self-discovery.
All you need to do is show up every day as your authentic self, complete with an open mind, open heart, and adventurous spirit. Surrender to the Universe’s process and magic will happen. Once you surrender therefore you will be surprise what the Universe can do.