Keep Your Cool: Calmness in Leadership is Key

Guys.  This is sooooooo cool.  I just had one of those “*Cosmic wink* – I got you girl” moments from the universe recently, and I’m excited to share how it can help you in your business and in your life.

We all know them… Those leaders who manage to remain calm, cool, and collected regardless of what’s going on around them.

Annnnd we all know people who have a tendency to fly off the handle.

Which group are you in, or are you somewhat of a mixed bag?

Either way, no judgments.  That starting point is awareness, not judgment.

As a leader, those around you rely on you to set the tone for the overall demeanor of the organization.

It’s no news to you that fear and uncertainty abound – between state gas prices, cost of groceries…

The stress from the pandemic ensues in many different forms – turmoil in financial markets, finding employees aligned with your company, low morale, issues with retention, and productivity concerns, to name a few.  And that’s just on the business side.  

Pressures on the homefront continue to mount as well, and are contributing to the mental health crisis.

I believe there’s a silver lining in everything, however. This perfect storm invites leaders to rise to the occasion like never before.

How can you do that? Many ways, and one powerful approach is learning to remain calm.

If you’re thinking, “I’m not wired that way, Calmness isn’t in my DNA” – I’ve heard it a million times.  Rest assured, you’re in good company.

Grab a cup of tea and kick back.  This week you’re going to learn some practical, actionable things you can start putting into practice in your own life, in order to live and lead with calmness and composure.

Leaders – Your Goal is a Calm Cabin

The energy you show up with matters, and in a big way.

Think about a time when you were on an airplane, and the pilot came on to announce that you’d be going through some turbulence.

If the pilot is calm and poised and casually comments that you’ll be going through some turbulence and then on to sunnier skies, the passenger’s reaction matches the pilot’s – they take a moment to listen, and then go back to doing what they were doing.

By contrast, if the pilot is noticeably flustered, people in the cabin will pick up on that and react accordingly. You’ve seen it before… Shades go up and people are looking out the window, striking up panic-stricken conversations with anyone and everyone around them.

As a leader, your goal is a calm cabin. Think of that the next time you’re in a pressuresome situation… Dealing with something unexpected or being under the gun to make an important decision.

Keep Your Side of the Street Clean

Friendly reminder that there are things you can control in life, and things you can’t.

Keeping your side of the street clean means keeping your focus on how YOU show up.  You can’t control global markets. You can’t control your kids’ behavior.  You can’t control your colleague’s reactions. You know all that. But oftentimes we allow what’s going on around us to influence our behavior, and use the external events as a reason or justification.

Another friendly reminder that you have agency over your own words, actions, and overall disposition.

When I was growing up, my dad would always reference the phrase “Values aren’t taught to kids, they’re CAUGHT BY kids.”

And you have the best chance of modeling the values that are important to you if you’re in a peaceful, calm mood.

Wisdom From the 19th Century

Many people want power, but go after it through grand gestures or loud presence.  That isn’t necessary.

Tapping into your true power is enabled through calmness.

Just ask James Allen, 19th-century writer and pioneer in the self-help field, who penned this gripping quote:

Self-control is strength

Right thought is mastery

Calmness is power

So, the next time you’re in a situation and want to show up as a true, authentic, empowered leader, take a deep breath and engineer that through your energy and poise.

The Universe Validates

Ok so now we’re getting to the magical part of all of this.

This is when I get to get all metaphysics-y on you.

The universe is always watching, listening, responding, orchestrating, affirming.

And I have a recent personal experience to share along these lines.

On my recent LA trip, I spent a few hours one morning doing some serious self-care – a run, walk, and yoga at the beach.  I was super zenned out and as I was walking back to my hotel, a lady riding a bike totally cut right in front of me, and if I wasn’t paying attention she would have plowed right into me.

I just paused and kept walking, feeling grateful because it could have gone so differently.

A few seconds later I heard someone say “Miss, excuse me, Miss?”

I stopped and this Earth angel, clearly sent by the universe, said “I saw how that lady on the bike practically just ran right into you, and I was blown away that you didn’t even react.  You have this sense of calm, this groundedness about you.  You have to be from the Midwest.”

I laughed and said yep, Chicago.

We continued chatting and he told me the story of how he ended up living in the Venice Beach area, and how the stars must have been aligned for it to happen the way that it did.

Then he asked me, “Have you always been this calm?”  

“Ummm, not quite.” I snickered.

First-born. Virgo. Italian.  Type A.  Do you think I was born calm?

As we continued chatting, it was clear to me that he gets how all this works – how the universe gives us exactly what we need in every moment, even if it’s in the form of a careless biker, because without the biker there would have been no perfect stranger who struck up a conversation that validated the work I’ve done on myself over the years.  It was one of those “Keep going” moments, courtesy of the universe.

You have the power to reframe any experience and look at it through the lens of growth.  When you do, you start to see how life is happening FOR you, not TO you, and that’s when gratitude becomes the gateway for calmness.

YOU Choose How You Want to Feel

While calmness may not come naturally to you, the good news is that it is something that can be learned.  With time, practice, patience, open-mindedness, and the lifestyle to promote it, you can rewire yourself to respond differently.

Instead of letting the events of life dictate how I feel, I go about it differently.

Now I decide.  I decide how I want to feel.  I decide if I want to let the actions of another person take away my peace.  No thanks.  I’ve done the work to get there and I’m not gonna let someone take that away.

Most people are living the “conditional” reality – a life where the majority of their emotions are dictated by what’s going on around them.  And we wonder why people are stressed and exhausted, and can’t figure out why happiness isn’t here to stay.

Remember, you only have agency over what’s on your side of the street.  Not theirs.  But you can extend grace generously.  There could be 1,000 reasons people cut you off, and most likely none of them have anything to do with you.  Compassion and empathy pave the way to calmness. 

Do it differently.  Choose how you want to feel, and stay there.

When you do that, you broadcast a different signal. You emanate higher vibes.  And you continue to feel better and attract better.   The world will continue to respond differently.

That’s the unconditional reality. That’s where calm is at.

When we commit to doing our work in a whole new way, we open ourselves up to this new reality.

Start the Journey to Calm Today!

So what can you do today to start mastering the art of remaining calm?

Let me first just say that the journey there is a marathon, not a sprint. There’s no magic bullet for calmness, and it’s something that needs to be worked at continuously.

This is where a good life coach comes in!  Do you know any?!  Ha. Let’s chat! Grab a time here.

After you book your call with me :), review this list of things you can do to start creating more calm in your life and try working some of them into your lifestyle:

–Deep breathing

–Time in nature

–Spend time alone

–Physical activity


–Gain perspective

–Decide how you want to feel

–Be more forgiving, of yourself and others

–Choose patience

P.S. In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m not calm 100% of the time.  Three of my four kids are teens.  Need I say more? 🙂  Who can relate?!