Jack Byrnes: “I mean, can you ever really trust another human being, Greg?”
Greg: “Sure! I think so!”
Jack Byrnes: “No. The answer is you cannot.”
I just couldn’t write an article about trust without a little age-old wisdom from Jack Byrnes. Any other Meet the Parents fans out there?
Ahhh trust. The cornerstone of all human relationships.
So what is it exactly, and how do you achieve it?
My clients often bring up trust issues, and they can take on many forms. Sometimes it involves situations where important information is withheld. Sometimes it involves flat-out lying. Sometimes it involves an inconsistency between words and actions.
It can feel elusive at times… Can be hard to articulate exactly what it is, and can be so hard to build, and so easy to lose.
Recently I came across THE BEST explanation of trust I’ve ever heard, and I want to share it with you. It’s a framework developed by Brené Brown, using the acronym “BRAVING” that explains the many dimensions of trust.
As you read through it, think about your relationships, personal and professional, and ask yourself how they fare, using this framework as a backdrop.
I’d encourage you to hold all of your relationships to super high standards – the relationship you have with yourself, and with others. You deserve relationships that contain all of these elements. But if they’re not all currently present, don’t fret. You can work toward it by having authentic conversations. That’s where all the growth happens. Enjoy the journey of becoming.
Here ya go:
Boundaries – Knowing and communicating your limits – on what you can give and what you can let in.
Reliability – Words match actions. Talk is cheap, actions are valuable. Doing what you say you’re going to do.
Accountability – Owning up to your mistakes, apologizing, and making amends.
Vault – Keeping confidential conversations and information confidential.
Integrity – Knowing and living out your core values, doing what is right rather than what is convenient.
Nonjudgement – Holding space for people to show up as they are. Creating an atmosphere where people feel safe to ask for help and admit that they’re having a hard time.
Generosity – You give people the benefit of the doubt and get curious, rather than leaping to conclusions or making assumptions.
So comprehensive and insightful, right? Love this. I hope you do too.
Oh and btw, isn’t the skywriter image so cool? I took that when I was in Disneyworld with my kids a few years ago. That company sure knows how to do it right.
I’d love to help you learn how to build trust in your relationships – the relationship with yourself, and the relationship you have with others. Click here and we’ll chat.